Grossest Cat Ever
_jazz_ hit new levels of gross Sunday. Honestly, for a guy that eats my puke to find new ways to be gross - that's an achievment. I don't know what he did. Maybe that bugaterian diet of his is a bad choice or something, but holy cow... he was throwing up all over the place, and he rendered the poop-sand a bio-hazard. But that's not the worst of it. In fact the worst of it was his butt. He got his own super-stinky poop all over it. It was so gross that the humans pinned him down to clean it. I mean, if you are going to be so gross that you need humans to groom you it's time to turn in your membership card the the Kitty Cat Club. Ick.

He must have grossed the humans out something fierce because the humans stared using the bad "V" word and lap-lady started talking to the thing with the chewy antenna that rings sometimes, sounding all worried. She even got me all worried.

Anyway, they put _jazz_ in the green cage-box thingy that they always stick us in when the really loud bell goes off and they have to take us outside while men wearing yellow come in a red truck and look at the building. I don't know what that is all about except there was that one time when it happened and we had to go stay in a cage for at the bad "V" place (where they stick needles in you) for a long time and when we came back the apartment smelled funny and it was cold. Whatever. They put _jazz_ in the thing and took him away for hours. I was all by myself here. I hate that. Even though he is gross, I don't like it when I'm all alone and can"t find _jazz_.

So when they finally brought him back he was really cranky. He said they took him to the "V" place where there were dogs, strange people touched his feet and his butt (they even stuck something *up* his butt LOLZ!!!), he could hear other cats meowing in horror, and they even stuck an needle in him. He slept a lot that day and was really boring. And for some reason the humans hid the food for a while and made Jazz eat a pill. That sucked. Not the pill part, I mean the no food for hours part. Then they gave Jazz some food from and can and weren't going to give me any! I don't think so. Whatever Jazz gets, I get twice as much of. That's my rule and I was here first. It was really good so I ate it too fast and threw up.

But now _jazz_ is OK, the poop-sand box is safe to enter, the food is back where it should be, and the humans even cleaned all the carpets. So _jazz_ and I have lots of important rolling around and wrestling to do to get all the fur back properly back on the carpets.