Tharsis

Feline Sufferage!

2008-10-14T22:49:55Z

The humans went to vote today and I got left at home. It's completely unfair and speciesist. Seriously - the minimum age to vote is 18. That's pretty damn old for a cat. How would you humans feel if the minimum voting age was something like 90 years? Not that it matters because you have to be human anyway. Do you really think we cats would make a worse mess of things than the humans already have? Doubtful. For example, here in Canada where there are four mainstream parties that would be considered "liberal" by American standards (ironically the "Liberal Party" being the least liberal of the bunch). So roughly 70% of the population votes for one left-leaning party or another but since the neocon fascist vote isn't split, the Conservative party ends up making up the ruling party. Nice system there, humans. Not that the United States has a better system, for all the 49.5/50.5 split elections they end up with. May as well have computers that generate random numbers decide who wins... oh... wait... nevermind! Seriously, humans can't be trusted to run their own affairs. Anyone who has a cat already knows, you are better off when we are making all the important decisions.

Fear my Mighty Claws

2007-06-10T19:20:00Z

I caught a bird yesterday. The humans are baffled since we live in an apartment, but I am not sharing my secrets. It's enough that I was willing to share the bird with _jazz_ and the humans while it still had some twitch left in it.

Not a Macro

2007-05-16T04:39:24Z

Oh, MAN!

2006-12-19T07:05:16Z

To hell with the nip - I've got to get myself some of this!

Helping Humans Again

2006-11-05T08:48:37Z

Once again I have been helping humans. The lap-lady and the wuzzler were busy working when I heard a noise in the outside-place. It was a raccoon. I know what raccoons are because I used to see them in the old place with the bigger outside. It was facing the little door that's for _jazz_ and I like it was thinking about coming in, so I hissed at it. The lap-lady was nearby and went to look. She thought I was hissing at Jazz (because sometimes Jazz can be a jerk needs to be hissed at) and was surprised by the raccoon. She called the wuzzler over and he went out with a big stick, but the raccoon had already gone away - obviously scared off by my ferociousness.

Once again I have saved the day.

I'm Moving to Mexico

2006-10-04T04:13:19Z

A Mexican election poster. The Siamese Revolution has begun.

I've been busy

2006-04-14T22:43:02Z

I made some icons for _jazz_:

Today I am Eight Years Old

2006-04-12T16:25:35Z

Here I am, over seven years ago.

Lounging in my first apartment. Only steps away from a fish-packing plant - every cat's dream!

Up on the latest technology. Wow. Remember monitors you could sit on? The good old days...

My "Gothic Cat of the Week" centerfold shot. No regrets.

It's my old teddy bear! I'm far too mature for such silliness now.

Practicing my now patented blood-curdling Siamese roar.

As you can see, I have perfected my technique.

I am Tharsis Kong and This is My Empire State Box

2006-01-17T05:04:12Z

Note the biplanes coming for me on the whiteboard in the picture below

That'll Learn Ya,

2005-12-09T04:02:05Z

So the Wuzzler thought it would be funny to take one of those shiny, flower-shaped things the Lap Lady has been sticking on the paper-covered boxes I'm not allowed to scratch, and stick the thing on my head where I couldn't reach it. Oh, it was real funny... But not as funny as about an hour later when I hurled in his shoe.

Don't mess with me, or else I will mess with you. Literally.

Habit Meme

2005-12-03T02:13:37Z

Ground Rules: The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "5 weird habits/facts about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their 5 weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. I scratch my right ear when I am upset about anything.
2. If the food dish even gets close to being empty I get so excited by new food I can't help eating until I puke.
3. I require being chased across the apartment at least once before I let the humans go to sleep. If this does not happen I will sit in the bedroom doorway an meow until I get my way.
4. Everything is a game.
5. I can tell when he is coming home, regardless of when, and go to the door 10 minutes in advance to greet him.

(6) Everyone I know has been tagged already.

They're Armed!

2005-11-14T02:37:02Z

Their puny light-sabres are no match for my mighty fangs!

Now say "Tharsis the Sith" three times fast.

Grossest Cat Ever

2005-10-25T05:25:20Z

_jazz_ hit new levels of gross Sunday. Honestly, for a guy that eats my puke to find new ways to be gross - that's an achievment. I don't know what he did. Maybe that bugaterian diet of his is a bad choice or something, but holy cow... he was throwing up all over the place, and he rendered the poop-sand a bio-hazard. But that's not the worst of it. In fact the worst of it was his butt. He got his own super-stinky poop all over it. It was so gross that the humans pinned him down to clean it. I mean, if you are going to be so gross that you need humans to groom you it's time to turn in your membership card the the Kitty Cat Club. Ick.

He must have grossed the humans out something fierce because the humans stared using the bad "V" word and lap-lady started talking to the thing with the chewy antenna that rings sometimes, sounding all worried. She even got me all worried.

Anyway, they put _jazz_ in the green cage-box thingy that they always stick us in when the really loud bell goes off and they have to take us outside while men wearing yellow come in a red truck and look at the building. I don't know what that is all about except there was that one time when it happened and we had to go stay in a cage for at the bad "V" place (where they stick needles in you) for a long time and when we came back the apartment smelled funny and it was cold. Whatever. They put _jazz_ in the thing and took him away for hours. I was all by myself here. I hate that. Even though he is gross, I don't like it when I'm all alone and can"t find _jazz_.

So when they finally brought him back he was really cranky. He said they took him to the "V" place where there were dogs, strange people touched his feet and his butt (they even stuck something *up* his butt LOLZ!!!), he could hear other cats meowing in horror, and they even stuck an needle in him. He slept a lot that day and was really boring. And for some reason the humans hid the food for a while and made Jazz eat a pill. That sucked. Not the pill part, I mean the no food for hours part. Then they gave Jazz some food from and can and weren't going to give me any! I don't think so. Whatever Jazz gets, I get twice as much of. That's my rule and I was here first. It was really good so I ate it too fast and threw up.

But now _jazz_ is OK, the poop-sand box is safe to enter, the food is back where it should be, and the humans even cleaned all the carpets. So _jazz_ and I have lots of important rolling around and wrestling to do to get all the fur back properly back on the carpets.

Vote for Me and I'll Set you Free

2005-10-10T22:43:42Z

Because I don't have a paid account and can't do polls, you have to go here and prove once and for all that I kick ass over a weiner-dog.

LOLZOMG!!!!1!1!!1

2005-09-04T22:11:39Z

HLLYA COW MANG!!!11!1 SMELLY GEREEN STUFF@! ROLS INT IT EAT IT MANA OY MORE FUNFUNFUNFUNFUFNUFN!!!UFG!!uNGUGN!!!

When I Sleep, I Dream of Hunting Water Buffaloes and Wilderbeast

2005-08-14T20:38:49Z

What the hell does he do out there?

2005-06-16T01:18:31Z

Yesterday I got out the door the wuzzler goes out of most mornings and doesn't come back from for hours. There was nothing out there. It was just a big long room with more doors in it. There are other cats inside the door straight across the long room. And a long time ago we used to spend all our time behind one of the other doors where there was no outside like there is here. I went all the way down the long room and sniffed all the other doors. There are other cats behind some of them. None of them smelled like outside.

I don't get it at all. I hear him walk down the long room and in the afternoon he walks back, but none of the doors at that end of the long room smell like outside. Does he just walk to the end of the long room and sit there for hours? Humans don't make any sense. This warrants further investigation and I will try to get out into the long room for further sniffing and general investigation whenever I can.

Damn Humancentric Website

2005-01-09T21:09:56Z

I discovered today that my account had been disabled due to an American law designed to protect pre-adolescent humans. How annoying. Not only am I well beyond adolescence, at a point in my life rought equivalent to a 30-year old human, I live outside of the United States and the rule shouldn't apply to me anyway.

Fortunately a human friend of mine, mbarrick, was good enough to step up as my "guardian" (when really it is I who gards him from things like squirrel invasions and other sundry dangers), in order to reactivate my account.

Needless to say I have removed the year from my birthdate information.

Hey!

2004-10-06T04:11:52Z

I think I am being made fun of!

Helping Humans

2004-08-23T05:02:58Z

So, last night while the humans were on the other side of the door that we're not allowed to go out of (for the life of me I don't know why they spend so much time out there-- the few times I've managed to get out there for a look all I saw as a long hall with green carpet), a black meal-toy with a bushy tail came in one of the windows. It was raining outside so I guess the meal-toy thing wanted to get out of the rain. I went to look at him and and he went bouncing off one of the pictures on the wall, almost knocking it off, and then hid inside one of the sliding boxes.

When the humans came back I tried to tell them there was something in the sliding box but they didn't really get what I was trying to tell them. They thought _jazz_ must have knocked over the picture while hunting a bug.

Anyway, a little while later He Who Wuzzles found the meal-toy. That's when I came to help. The meal-toy was under the bed. He Who Wuzzles looked a little confused so I made sure the bushy-tailed meal-toy stayed under the bed. The Lap Lady picked up the basket they use to put the warm clothes that need new fur applied in and He Who Wuzzles tried to scare the meal-toy out by jumping on the bed.

It didn't work so well so He Who Wuzzles sent me in to scare the meal-toy. That was the really fun part. I haven't got to chase a meal-toy since we lived in the place with the big outside. The outside here is just little and there are no meal-toys running around.

The Lap Lady trapped the meal-toy under the basket. It was really angry about that and made a funny little angry noise. The humans slipped one of those things they paint pictures on under the basket and took the meal-toy to the outside.

_jazz_ was sitting under the one of the chairs in the outside and was all confused about the angry meal-toy. He's not good with stuff like that-- he says it's because he is a bugitarian, but I think he is just afraid of meal-toys, especially the big ones with bushy tails. So the humans let the meal-toy go over the edge of the outside into the tree that is outside the outside. Kind of a waste of the "meal" part of the meal-toy, but at least I got to play with it and scare it a bit first.

I resemble that remark

2004-08-21T07:21:05Z

What Is Your Animal Personality?
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What the ...?

2004-06-22T05:38:58Z

I don't understand. It is hot: stretch out on the wood floor and melt, hot. So what do the humans do? Last night they moved everything but the poop-sand off the outside-place where it is shady and cool - even the tree and the chewing-grass. Then this morning, just as it is getting hottest even the poop-sand was moved inside. Then some weird human with came over, went on to the outside place, made all kinds of scary loud noises and then spread some icky smelling goop around. It's the same grey toe-sticky stuff that _jazz_ and I walked in accidentally before. This is the third time someone has come to spread that stuff on the outside place. How many times do these strange humans have to do the same thing before they go away and leave our stuff where it belongs? Now even the humans aren't supposed to go on the outside place and even though it is super hot here can't leave the door open otherwise _jazz_ will walk on the toe-sticky stuff again.

I have a new hero

2004-05-31T15:14:18Z

Bucky is my hero.

comic_getfuzzy comicgetfuzzy

Everybody Wants to Be a Cat

2004-02-11T04:08:46Z

But what to do when your roomie already has the corner on _jazz_?

I have decided to sing the blues. I wrote my first song tonight.

The Empty Bowl Blues


My bowl is empty.
I don't know what to do.
I may never get fed again.

What then?
What then?

My bowl is empty.
Yes, I'm all out of food.
I gots the empty bowl blues.

So? What do you think?

H. P. Lovecats

2004-01-03T23:30:13Z

I am becomimg concerned. Whenever _jazz_ or I get in trouble He Who Wuzzles always says he is going to eat our heads. He's really old - way older than any cat ever - I wonder if he may the ancient evil one, Catthulu?